When Giving The Very Best Seems Like Overkill
Void Gift
Why settle for socks or scented candles when you can give the people in your life something truly cosmic? At Black Hole Name, we’ve got a hole for everyone, your ex, your boss, your neighbor who mows at 6 a.m., even that cousin who still owes you twenty bucks.
Event Horizon
Each one can be immortalized in the universe’s most powerful vacuum, a gift that’s equal parts hilarious and unforgettable. Because when it comes to holiday shopping, birthdays, or just a little cosmic payback, nothing says “I thought of you” quite like a black hole with your name on it.
Cosmic Payback
Buying someone a star sounds romantic, but here’s the truth: that’s not how stars are named. Astronomers use strict catalogs and designations, not novelty certificates. So why waste money on a fake star when you can give them something far more fitting, a black hole.
“I named a black hole after my cat. I thought it would be a cute gift. She thought it was a threat. We haven’t spoken since.”
Holly Jane
Stars Suck
Why Choose Us
Because naming a star is boring, and naming a black hole is brilliant. Our certificates are hilarious, our science is legit enough to sound real, and our gift ideas are so petty they’re practically poetic. Whether you’re shopping for a birthday, breakup, or just a little cosmic payback, we’ve got a void with their name on it.
QUESTIONS?
Whether you’re curious about features, a free trial, or even press, we’re here to answer any questions.
